you are : what you eat

last night while making dinner (reheated feijoada no less) i was reminded of the ingredients often used to make original feijoada of the empire - notably, the unwanted leftovers of the slaughterhouse - ears, lips, loin, tongue, feet ... i remembered a louis ck talk about ethnic food ... today i signed a petition against monsanto's problematic genetic meddling and poisoning of  the food chain, and then ran across a post about the special ingredients used to make dumplings ... and there you have it!

Your diligent and inquisitive blogger attempted to research a bit on this tasty topic. He was hard pressed to find any actual information, there being an apparent black hole of information regarding this delicacy. There is however a very interesting article on the statistical aspects of boneless pork rectums (link below).

One website, did have this candid testimonial:   __________________________________________

Boneless Pork Rectum
by SociallyUnacceptable » Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:19 pm

As promised to J.C. in a conversation he and I had on facebook, here it is by demand of Bone's Lair crew:

As you all know I just moved to Iowa and have recently gotten a job working at a hog slaughterhouse for tyson foods. Upon the the first plant tour of the place, the only thing that most of the other new employees and I could remember was boxes upon boxes labelled "boneless pork rectum." I thought this may have been a joke of sorts so we asked. Apparently it is considered a delicacy in asia to eat pig assholes. When they say they use ever part of the hog....THEY MEAN IT!!!. Apparently the asians enjoy giving the occasional swine rim job or two. (pause for mental image)

In my orientation class somebody had to ask the obvious question... How do they make a boneless pork rectum? Well apparently one of the trainers actually was in this position before and explained. When the hog comes down the line they have it hanging ass up in the air. One person stands on this platform with this long metal rod with a type of saw blade at the base. Of all the official name for this particular item the official Tyson name for this item is called....the bum gun (couldn't make it up if I tried). All this person does is ram the "bum gun" up the hogs ass, hits the trigger and the saw cuts the hogs asshole off and drops it into the hog to be removed. The only claim to fame this position has is the fact that when someone asks what you do for a job, you can smile and say that you shoot assholes for a living. 

This is my proof to bone's lair that a pigs asshole is tasty in asia, but not safe from anal probing here in the cornfields of Iowa.

Ever wonder what’s in those delicious dumplings? What gives them that special tang? The flavor that cannot quite be named? Wonder no further! For the secret has been revealed.

And the secret is…boneless pork rectums, finely diced. All the hush-hush is over because these boxes were allowed to be photographed just before they were hustled into a restaurant in Taiwan. But now that their presence has been revealed to the world, the silence surrounding dumpling recipes can be broken.

Take a careful look at the labels. Not only are these rectums boneless—all the best ones are (mine is) —but they are inverted! Culinary insiders have long known that it is only in the cheapest dumplings that one finds non-inverted rectums.

Read the rest of this end all article on "The Mathematics of Boneless Pork Rectums", on

Louis CK on food

see more:

squid vs rectum:

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